By Ashley Wright
The last deed is done and you both move in silence-he reaches for his boxers and you roam in the dark for your panties, all the while no one dares to say the first word. You both know this never should’ve happened. The moment of pleasure is over and now a bitter confusing aftermath awaits you. Your relationship ended months ago but somehow you still manage to fall into his bed every now and then.
Break up sex only revives an already drowning relationship, creating an illusion that whatever reasons caused the break-up can be ignored and the relationship can be fixed. This desire to hold on to a mate long after sparks have fizzled is shared by many, but being sexually involved with a recent ex makes any future prospects automatic “rebounds” since you haven’t officially moved on.
Leaving a relationship behind after a break-up can be both an emotional and physical experience. One of the many problems with completely leaving your significant other is the inability to accept the fact that the relationship is over! People tend to float in denial; persuading themselves that their relationship lacks issues and can eventually be better. In many cases, people are aware of the problems in their relationships but comfort, time and convenience stops them from moving on.
One of the first steps in a quick and easy break-up is honesty. You have to admit to yourself that you both deserve a change. Happiness is golden. If you are not entirely happy in this commitment than you cannot satisfy your boyfriend or girlfriend. By all means, no relationship is perfect but some things just aren’t meant to be. Sticking around in a broken relationship can lead to stress, cheating and depression, all of which are very painful and unhealthy experiences that can only make matters worse.
After you have pondered your honest decision to break-up with your partner you should talk to him. Keep in mind what you plan to say, the goal that you plan to accomplish, once this conversation comes to an end. Breaking up with someone that you care about can be an extremely complicated task. While you may be willing to accept that your relationship should be ended, your spouse may not.
Now, this is where things can become a little tricky. Before you speak with your spouse about your decision to break things off, you must be prepared. An argument is not valid without proof. You must be able to tell your partner why you think that ending the relationship is the solution to your issues. In doing so, you must be ready to give specific examples or certain events that led up to this discussion. Please do not proceed to pinpoint the blame on your spouse or declare yourself not guilty because no one person is responsible for ending the relationship. It should be decided by you both.
At this point, you can be persuaded to change your mind, feel guilty for ending your relationship and ultimately give up on what you set out to do. So you must be firm and stand your ground. If you make decisions that do not reflect your overall well-being, than you live in contempt.
You have to be very confident and affirmative in this conversation. Keep in mind that your spouse knows you. Since you were both involved intimately, he most likely, knows you on a deeper level than anyone else. However, your physical intimacy may lead to your demise. Since your partner knows you so well, he has the ability to throw you off, seduce you even. Sure, you look good together, you damn sure feel good together but this satisfaction is temporary.
Follow your mind because it guide your heart in the right direction. Be honest, be logical, persistent and firm. You cannot let people confuse you with their perception of reality. The ease of temporary satisfaction teases the difficulty in achieving ultimate gratification.
So while you redress, before you head for the door, prepared to leave the scent lingering on his sheets. The thought of feeling her lips on your neck, the smell of sweetness, ignore it. His wanting eyes pleading for one last round, which continues indefinitely like a line on a graph if you don’t open your mouth to declare this battle over. Make your way to a table, or a less intimate or awkward setting where you can focus and turn this charade into a quick and easy break-up.